Pam and Tommy

I generally try not to be that person.

I try to take in whatever media I’m digesting and evaluate it on its own merits without any outside factors playing a role.

With that being said I tried watching the Hulu limited series Pam & Tommy. If you’re under the age of 20 or been living on an island, under a rock for the last 50years, the show chronicles the events involving an extremely intimate tape of Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee and his then wife Pamela Anderson of Baywatch and Barbed Wire fame. Said tape was stolen by a disgruntled electrician (it was in a safe he stole) and eventually ended up online. It was an embarrassment for our metal couple but the brunt of the humiliation landed squarely on Pamela because that’s the world we live in. Oh, I’m sure Tommy cringed a bit in the beginning but he was getting rave reviews about the size of his drum stick so I’m sure his personal fluster ended quickly. It was the talk of the town. There were lawsuits and litigations and all kinds of law stuff but in the end the tape was free to roam the Information Super Highway for all to see.

Fast forward to 2021 and it’s announced that Hulu is producing a limited series about the event starring Sebatian Shaw and Lily James. Stories begin to surface regarding the real Pam and Tommy’s feelings on the show. Lily James and the showrunners Robert Siegel and D.V. DeVincentis said they reached out to Pamela but she did not respond (file this under No Shit Sherlock). This show was going to happen with or without her or Tommy’s consent.

And therein lies my issue and where I become that person.

Regardless of how the actual people felt, regardless of the fact that the 2 people at the center of this did not want this show to happen, that didn’t matter. And watching the show, for me, made me an accomplice. This isn’t a story about someone over coming the odds. This isn’t about shining a light on an injustice. This isn’t about showcasing a tragedy that people may not have heard about or even know much about. This is about 2 people, a married couple, having sex on a boat. Its about a couple being humiliated and ridiculed simply because their loving making was shown to the world. It’s a show that reignites their trauma. Like the release of their sex tape, their consent was taken away. I’m not going to finish the show and I won’t judge anyone who watches and enjoys it, this is just how I feel.

Aquaman: The Rodney Dangerfield of Superheroes

One night, as I was scouring Youtube, I decided to relive my youth and check out the opening theme songs to the classic Superfriends cartoons. As I watched, I realized that, even though he’s one of the main stars on this show, Aquaman gets the gold medal for being the least respected superhero.

Here’s Superman, about to lift a rocket and toss it into space. Look how he lifts it with the greatest of ease.

And then to add to his machismo, he pushes the rocket into the farthest reaches of space. Hopefully no one was inside, but hey he’s Supes and that’s what Supes does.

Then we come to Batman and Robin; frightening evil doers and kicking much ass. Well, Batman is kicking ass, Robin is all tied up like male damsel in distress but I’m sure he got a few licks in. No matter, we see some heroics happening here.

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I feel bad for Robin so I’m adding this action shot so he looks fairly heroic and ready to bust some criminal booty or maybe they’re both jumping into a pool, who knows.

Next, Wonder Woman is showing her badassery by swinging her lasso while on top of her invisible jet.  I mean, that act alone should win her all the Tough Guy competitions until the end of time.

But is swinging a lasso on top of a plane enough for our Amazonian Princess? NOPE. She has to go the extra mile and lasso a friggin dragon. I think it’s a dragon, look it’s a monster and it’s huge and she’s dragging it behind her plane, probably taking it back to her place so she can have it mounted like that Marlin your Dad claims he caught off the coast of Australia but really bought at a garage sale and is mad because the button is broken so it can’t mouth the words to Bad to the Bone.

And finally we come to our guest of honor, the cause of this blog post; Aquaman. Is he battling a sea creature? Is he fighting Black Manta? Is he going toe to toe with mutated carnivorous gold fish?  Not even close. All he’s doing is entertaining the audience at the 1pm show at Sea World while committing a blatant act of animal abuse. Look at him waving to the crowd like he just performed a triple lindy while the dolphins look completely unimpressed.

When a guy wearing a leather jacket, jumping over sharks is cooler than the King of the Seven Seas, you seriously done messed up.

I Heart 80’s All Over

I am a child of the 80’s.  I grew up watching a lot of TV and film. And I mean A LOT. Not only would I gaze in wide wonder at the glowing box that presented my favorite pieces of eye candy like Duke of Hazzard, Different Strokes and Buck Rogers, my father also took to me see films in the theater. Every Sunday he would make pancakes and then it was off to the flickers to see Superman Man 2, The Black Stallion, The Secret of Nimh, and so forth. I would occasionally do revisits of the more classic films like Poltergeist, The Empire Strikes Back or Raiders of the Lost Ark but I started listening to a podcast that started my path to not only re-watching some of the 80’s films I loved as a child,  but also the 80’s films that fell way under my radar.

                                I happen to be on Twitter when I learned about a podcast that reviewed films from the 80s; year by year month by month. I was intrigued and I immediately went to their site 80sallover.com and was quickly introduced to the team of Drew McWeeny and Scott Weinberg.  I don’t’ remember which one I started with but I was hooked from the start. I was entranced by Drew’s rapid fire analytical thought process and his encyclopedia level knowledge of film.  I was hooked by Scott’s comedic timing, his laugh out loud segues and his passion for a film that still holds up or a film that he was irritated by. And it wasn’t just about films, these guys let us in to their lives at times. I loved hearing how Drews’ kids reacted to a particular film or hearing about the outpouring of condolences toward Scott when his beloved cat died or the time I got chocked up listening to Drew get teary eyed while telling a story that was connected to Starman. I loved how they owned up to mistakes and the fact that from this time forward I will no longer be able to hear The Gap Band’s Oops Upside Your Head without thinking of the show. After a while they weren’t just hosts, they were friends. Friends that I had the honor of hanging out with and listening to them speak intelligently and hilariously about 80’s films.

                                The goal was to watch and review every film from the 80s no matter how obscure. That task seemed so monumental but every 2 weeks they came out with new episodes. Add that they had a Pateron page (the only pateron I ever subscribed to) that had bonus content like interviews with Steven E. de Souza, Lea Thompson, Nancy Allen, Barbara Crampton and Bill Hader just to name a few, it makes you wonder when they found time to sleep or have their own lives. But after April of 1985 dropped it would sadly seem that reality came crashing in. They announced they were putting the show on hiatus to try to figure things out. I was surprised they were able to keep that schedule but it was completely understandable that they would need a break. But 3 months later the sad news broke; 80’s All Over was no more. The time and cost was just too much for 3 guys (God I almost forgot producer Bobby). Reading the letter they posted on the site I could almost hear all 3 guys’ collective hearts breaking. You know that they wracked their brains trying come to a solution. Trying to figure out how to make this work but in the end it just couldn’t be.

                                I was happy to hear that the episodes would still be on the site (although the Pateron page would have to close down). I turned the show on to a few friends who also became fans (after a week of listening one friend showed me his Amazon cart and yeah it filled to the rim but not with Brim but tons of 80’s movies). And while there won’t be any new episodes I still want to bring this show to the attention of people so they can feel the enjoyment I felt. I want to thank Drew and Scott for reminding me, for informing me and for making me love the 80’s all over again.

Thoughts on the Zone

I seriously am enjoying the new Twilight Zone. It has the creepy vibe and strong commentary on current events like the original but with an updated gloss. But with that being said I do have a few quibbles that I need to air out.

The Swearing

I’m not a prude and I appreciate a good F bomb now and again but man it’s been pretty relentless on the show. During A Traveler the F bomb was dropped twice in the same scene. It just feels excessive. Just because you can do it doesn’t mean you need to do it all the F@#Kin time.

The Run Time

Seriously some of these episodes could use a bit more editing. The 1^st episode, The Comedian clocked in at 55min and you felt each minute click away. Scenes felt like they were padding even though I know they don’t have a specific run time they need to hit. A Traveler (yes again) which ran for 51min could have lost the first 10min and it would have been perfect.  Replay was the only episode past the 45min mark that didn’t drag or feel like it needed a little trim.

The Host

I know this one is controversial and it stings a bit to say but man, I’m just not digging Jordan Peele as the host. He’s a great actor and a brilliant filmmaker but for some reason I’m jarred out of the show in the beginning when I see him. Maybe it’s because I’m so used to seeing him doing comedy that I feel he’s about to do a sketch when he pops in. But I would feel like this about anyone who isn’t Rod Serling. There’s a reason why most of the Twilight Zone narrators are just voice over.

Those are the major (or minor) issues I have. Oh the whole I think the show, so far, has been a worthy successor to the original and I think Rod would be proud to enter this Zone.

The Ladies Talk the Black Lagoon

I follow a lot of writers and people in the entertainment industry in general  on Twitter. That strange little platform can be a haven for the most hellish parts of the internet. A place that truly embodies giving a voice to everyone including the lowest pieces of gutter trash this side of Satan’s anus. But if you can wade through all that crap you can find some truly shining diamonds. I stumbled on Anya Stanley (@Bookishplinko) when she started contributing on Birth.Movies Death which led me to her website (anyawrites.com) and opened the flood gates to her amazing writing on BMD, Dread Central and Collider. She tackles horror topics with a keen analytical mind and a pure childlike joy that is infectious. Her twitter feed is both engaging and hilarious.  Then I started seeing some writers retweeting a woman named Mallory O’Meara (@malloryomeara). I had no clue who she was at first and then I went on her twitter feed and learned she had written a book called The Lady from The Black Lagoon. The titled alone hooked me as I’m a fan of the classic Universal Monster movies thanks to my mom who is a huge fan of those classic monsters. So when I learned what the topic was, I started following Mallory so I could keep abreast of when the book would arrive. She also has a great twitter feed. Full of funny day to day stories and also great insight.

                                Well the book finally hits the shelves; I bought it and read it in a few days. I loved it.   Part biography on Milicent Patrick who created/designed the Gil Man for Creature from the Black Lagoon but who’s credit for such a contribution was pretty much Thanos’d out of existence.  It’s part detective story as we go along with Mallory on her journey learning about this the woman behind the monster and overcoming the road blocks and brick walls she encountered  and righting the injustice of her lack of inclusion in the annals of creature creators.  It’s also part personal account of what it’s like to be a woman in the entertainment industry in general but more specifically being a woman in the horror community; showing us that while things have improved, women still have a long way to go. All these elements are effortlessly woven together. Everything flows so well without any jarring “what does this have to do with anything” moments. A lot of bios can be a bit dry (I read a bio on Ben Fraklin and I had to drink 25 glasses of water just to get through chapter 1) but this Lady is fun and engaging and informative. You feel the same joy Mallory felt when she discovered new info or when she saw a note written by Millicent or seeing her picture for the first time. The words she uses capture the emotion and you feel as if you are right there with her, you want to high five her. It’s a great book and highly recommend it.

                               Mallory starts her book tour and I found out that, not only will she be speaking at a library not too far from me, but it will be moderated by Anya Stanley. So two of my favorite writers in one room (as Randy Newman said “I love LA”) you bet your Gil-Man ass I’ll be there. I love hearing filmmakers and writers speak about their craft and the projects they’ve worked on.  I love hearing about all the glorious highs and the frustrating lows. I get to the venue pretty early as A) I’m terrified of being late B) traffic can move like molasses flowing upward and C) I didn’t know how crowded it would get.  Getting there early allowed me time to go and hang out in the library. I forgot how much I love roaming the aisles, looking at book spines from shelf to shelf. I love how quiet it is.  We’re all there for one thing; to appreciate the calmness of this environment. It’s here that I start working on this piece and I got to admit the beginning was easier than I thought. I usually write in my room but there are distractions; TV, the internet and so forth. I purposely do not connect to the wifi and I allow myself to be swallowed up by the auditory isolation. Everyone is in their own world and now I being building mine. Time clicks down and the show is ready to start so I pack up and head to the meeting room. It’s a good size room about the size of your average classroom, table up front for our honored guests. They have snacks; water, iced tea, cookies. While the other patrons being to shuffle in with their smiles and nods and their soft spoken hellos, I’m staking out my little spot.  It’s a mix of old and young folks, all with the same joy the book and the author brought them. . There is one couple who have personal knowledge of Milicent Patrick and when I hear their story, regardless of not knowing Mallory personally, I know she will be very excited to hear it.  Mallory arrives first and then Anya. They take their seats and Mallory regales us with what made her interested I this topic and Anya throws out questions that add more color to an already interesting story. The back and forth was great. Here are two writers who know their stuff and are having a fascinating back and forth.  There was a Q&A afterwards that went a lot better than I had expected (I’ve been to Q&A’s where people ask questions for things that were already answered, they use it to plug their own projects or they ask profoundly dumb things like someone asking Paul Verhoeven if he ever saw Schwarzenegger take roids Ugh)   At the end Mallory signed her book (I had her sign mine and a blu ray booklet from my Universal Monster collection) and I had the distinct honor of exchanging some words with Anya who was so nice and just so down to earth who I also had sign my booklet.  I know I said something silly because I was nervous (I get that way when I interact with people who are extremely talented) but my brain is blocking out that area like some traumatic event. All I have is the wonderful memory of meeting two extraordinary talented writers who were also extremely nice and completely engaging who were genuinely happy to meet the fans. Not all meet ups are good but this was pure gold.

The Composer

When I was 12yrs old I wanted to be Indiana Jones. While my friends bought the Valley Girl film music with its totally tubular sounds, I religiously played the soundtrack to Raiders of the Lost Ark. I loved the film and I reenacted scenes in my room. Being able to listen to the music made my play time feel that much more authentic.  I didn’t bother to learn who made the music until later, I just cared about making sure I hung on to the edge of my bed like Indy hung on to the edge of that truck. Over time the name John Williams became more prominent in my life.

If there is anyone who I can say created the soundtrack to my childhood it’s Mr. Williams. It was over many years that I learned he had created the themes and scores for almost all of my favorite films; Jaws, Star Wars, E.T., Close Encounters and Superman just to name a few. Hell the guy did the theme song to my favorite show Lost in Space. I became in awe of his accomplishments and I wanted to learn more. He became my gate way drug, introducing to me other film composers; Bernard Herrmann, Jerry Goldsmith, Basil Poledouris.  And it’s those giants that opened me up to the classical works.

It all started with John Williams. His collaboration with Steven Spielberg is iconic. Spielberg movies on their own are amazing, but add a few musical notes by this legendary composer and they become extraordinary. When Mr Williams shuffles off this mortal coil, so will my childhood. But his music will continue to inspire me and I cannot thank him enough for opening me up to a world that I may not have found on my own had I not wanted to be Indiana Jones.

Here we go again

I’m trying to figure out what to write.

I’m trying to get this blog going in some way. Trying to find the direction I want it to go.

Do I stick with films? Do I talk about other thigs like books and TV and music?  Do I branch out and just talk about what’s on my mind like politics, pop culture, and my own feelings on all kinds of things. Do I just create a fictional narrative like a multi part novella that might get people to come back more than my idiotic ramblings?

Ugh I just don’t know.

But I think that’s a good thing. I know I’ve done this several times. But then I get frustrated and give up for a bit. I sit and stare and muse and rack my brain trying to come up with A) an interesting topic and B) an interesting way to present said topic. So I throw up my hands and just binge the latest Netflix drug of choice.

But I have a clean slate; I always do. I can write I want and have no restrictions. I don’t have anyone to impress except myself and I’m my own worst critic. This is the time to experiment. This is the time to try different things and sees what sticks. This is actually a more exciting time because I can try any style and see what my and the audience reactions would be.

I always tell people that the beginning is the best place and find your voice.

So, once again, I sit and stare and muse but I’m not going to get frustrated. I’m not going to distract myself and I’m not going to give up. I want to put something up at least once a week regardless of the topic. I want it to be a habit, an addiction that when I don’t put something up I get hives or the DT’s. I was going to wait until Jan 1^st but ugh that’s so cliché and why wait.  So here we go…

(3hrs later. Netflix: Are you still watching The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina instead of writing? Me: Sadly yes)

A Plea for Sanity

I’m scared.

Ok maybe scared isn’t the right word; terrified I think hits the nail on the head.

I honestly didn’t think I would be this nervous the closer we got to Election Day.  I didn’t think it would be a slam dunk (remember no one thought Trump would even get a ticket to the RNC let alone come within a hairs breath of the White House) but I also didn’t think it would be a close as it is. It feels like a see-saw, one side gets up and then it goes back down.  This Election could go either way and that’s not good.

I will be embarrassed  if Trump is elected into our Highest Office (I stand by my belief that no matter what, this election will hold a first; either we elect the first Woman president or we elect the first internet troll). So yeah this is the first time in all the years I’ve been able to vote that I feel utterly terrified of what the outcome could be. Trump is a misogynistic, racists asshole who will make us the laughing stock of the entire planet. This man talks about building walls that Mexico will pay for, banning Muslims, that his hands prove he has a big penis, grabbing women by their pussies,  and  with all that and he is still a viable candidate. While Howard Dean screamed like a banshee and that derailed his presidential run.

Oh how I long for the screaming days

 So I beg, I plead, I implore you all don’t let this country fall into the hands of a 6’3 Oompa Loompa and his bible thumping Race Bannon looking partner. We took some amazing steps forward in the last 8 years. Don’t force us to take 50 steps back. Fine you don’t like Hilary because she is shady, guess what THEY ARE ALL SHADY!!!  This election is too important to not vote because YOUR preferred candidate didn’t make it  , its too important to vote 3^rd party because yes you will be splitting the vote, it’s too important to simply be blasé about it. On Nov 8^th bite down on that leather strip, grind your teeth into nubs in frustration and vote for Hilary because, seriously , do you really want to see this orange faced baboon for the next 4 years…

He’s Back…Again

So yeah it’s been a while. I sit, I watch the screen and nothing comes out. Oh I dabble here and there. Typing a line here, throwing out a word there but nothing comes together to make a cohesive thought. It just seems like rambling; the stream of consciousness of a crazy person looking for attention.
I do love to write. I love coming up with thoughts that make one think, make one laugh or even make one cringe (confusion is a given when it comes to some of the things I’ve written) Mostly my writing has been little bits on Facebook and Twitter. Nuggets of thoughts put into an arena of safety because I’m afraid of boring the crap out of people in long form. 140 characters (a few more on FB) down and I feel good. But it’s only a sampling. I need to stop with the spoonful of sugars and make with the full blown 10 course meal. I can no longer let fear get in the way of what puts a smile on my face.

I turned 40 yesterday. For some this is a milestone; their moment of “Wow I can’t believe I made it this far” but it wasn’t like that for me. I don’t live that James Dean “Live fast and die young” lifestyle (Unless living fast means watching a DVD, having a glass of wine and being in bed by 10pm) But it did get me thinking, the same thinking some people get at 25, 30 35, 40 and hell even 50; What am I doing now? Where am I going? Don’t worry this isn’t going to be a woe is me blog, I am very content with my life for the most part. Could it be better? Of course it can be. 99% (and that was intentional) of us would say that and the 1% are just greedy bastards who can’t seem to get enough those money grubbing…Oh sorry, sorry that’s for a later blog. What I’m saying is that time keeps moving, people freak out when “THAT” age approaches whatever age it maybe (I know someone who freaked out when they were turning 21, there are some people who deserve repeated slaps) but you can either embrace it, welcome it into your home, make it some dinner and enjoy it’s company or you can barricade the door, turn off the lights like you’re hiding from kids on Halloween and pray the Boogie Age will go away but no matter what, it will find you and it will have its way with you whether you like it or not.

Yep that's what getting old is like.

Bottom line is you can’t let fear get in the way; fear of people not like things, fear that you’re too old. They say 40 is the new 30 and I get that. The 40 we hit now is not the 40 our parents and grandparents had, but at the same time when I think “I’m 10 years to 50” yeah it’s hard to not think that 40 is the way station on the road to senior citizen-ville. But at this point who cares it’s here and so I have to make the most of it. So no more fear, no more worries. Just writing and writing. I have some new columns I’ll be trying out for your reading pleasure. And please let me know what you think. I can’t say I will agree with your thoughts and I can’t say I will alter my writing style or humor (that’s like asking me to talk with a different voice) but I love discourse so let me have it, be as eloquent as Oscar Wilde or just tell me to Fuck Off, either way works for me.

Our Next President

I just came back from Jack in the Box and this is the unedited transcript of a conversation between the counter person and the guy in front of me.

Counter Person: Hello what can I get you today?

Guy: There’s bacon in the bacon double cheeseburger right?

Counter Person: ummmm yes sir.

I weep for humanity.