I'm Just Sayin'

The Short Yellow Bus of Blogs

My Snack with Trump

YC: So I must admit to being a tad shocked when you contacted me.

DT: Well young man, I felt it was time I got up close and personal and really got to know the losers who will be voting for me (AID STEPS IN AND WHISPERS SOMETHINIG IN HIS EAR) Sorry scratch losers I meant the great people of this great nation.

YC: So let’s get to the heart of things. What are the misconceptions that you would want cleared up? What do people misunderstand about Donald Trump?

DT: That is an excellent question, an excellent one. One that I’m sure that crooked Hilary has never really answered about herself to anyone’s satisfaction but it’s a question that deserves answers and I don’t think the American people will stand for nothing less but full disclosure.

YC (Staring Blankley)

DT (Staring Blankley back)

YC: Ummm you really didn’t answer the question.

DT:  If you just give me a minute to gather my thoughts, I mean she got a few minutes why can’t I?

YC: Who got a few minutes?

DT: I think the biggest misunderstanding is my slogan.

YC: Grab’em by the Pussy?

DT: No the other one.

YC:  Make American Great Again.

DT: Yeah that one. So I say it and then I see it all over the place and they’ve misspelled the word Great. See I’m a fan big fan of cheese, I mean a Yuuuuge fan of cheese, especially grated cheese.  Don’t give me blocks of cheese, I don’t want no sticks of cheese , sliced cheese are for losers (AID STEPS IN AND WHISPERS SOMETHINIG IN HIS EAR) Sorry scratch losers I meant for those great Americans who don’t know any better, and those cheese triangles are just another way for Obama to make this country more like Kenya.  But grated cheese is the best. You can sprinkle it over salads, you can spread it over pasta, you can put it on ice cream, it has so many applications it would make ya head spin.  But I feel it’s a neglected art form and that let me tell ya is a disaster, so we need to bring this back in full force and make America GRATE Again, because if we don’t, ISIS wins and that’s bad for everyone.

YC: I see, but what about the racism, the misogyny, the countless act of violence that you have incited. You have divided this country in so many people’s points of view and in so many ways that it will probably take decades for this nation to heal itself. What do you have to say about any of that?

DT: (Grating cheese onto a bowl of pasta) Oh you gotta try this. I mean look how it all comes out and just falls in there, I mean if I could grab it by its lady parts I would. I’m getting yuge just thinking about it.  Here pass that bowl of candy and I’ll grate some magic in there as well.

YC: (passes candy bowl) Thank you for your time sir.

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November 3, 2016 - Posted by | Writings |

1 Comment »

  1. Loved the humor, thanks for sharing & making me laugh 😄

    Comment by Casey Garvey | November 3, 2016


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